Perancangan Tahun 2009

Aku dah stay kat KL dah dekat 7 bulan tapi nampak gayanya, aku belum lagi merasa keseronokan hidup kat KL nih. Don't get me wrong... I don't mean the negative part of it like wild sex party and stuff... You see, I don't intend to stay in KL forever... And it is because of that, I plan to change my lifestyle to be reflective of a real KLites. I want to make my stay in KL a memorable one. I always tell my self that i want to do things that would make my children, or even grandchildren go and tell their friends that they have a cool mother / grandmother.

You see, for the past 2 months, my weekend had been filled with various activities. Now, since the person responsible of taking me around is no longer in the picture, and since it is now a new year, i need to have new plans and deploy my resources to get my them work.

My passion is the outdoor.. I can't really stand being inside not doing anything, skip the daily chores of course. I am staying with my brother and you see, if it were my own crib, i would've tried out new recipes, buy new furniture, paint the house, put some personal touch on my house.. lotsa things. But no, this is not my house.. Pretty much compounded my boredom..

So what do i have in store for me....? Let's check..


January
Most probably going cycling at Cerakah and then rock climbing the following week.

February
I would say February will be a very busy month for me. I have PGL Musical and M Nasir's concert. A friend is actually working with M Nasir @ Luncai Emas. Good opportunity to meet the Guru, although honestly, I am not a big fan.

and also, there might be an ATV (All-Terrain-Vehicles) trip during one of the weekends.

owh! i need to get my visa done for my April trip! Very importante!

March
..is alway my favourite time of the year. Because it is on the 9th in 1976 that i was delivered into this world. I read in an article that March is normally a busy month for everyone. Because, well, for one, the New Year celebration is over. If you have a graphical display, it will look as if the graph is at its peak in March.. One of the reasons, there are 31 days in March and it is going towards the middle of the year. Okay.. enough rambling because i apparently am unable to convince anyone with my piece of bullsh*t (but really, an article in a newspaper did say that March is always the most happening month of the year...)

Anyway, what's gonna happen in March besides the big celebration..? Well, I am going for a trip to Kenyir with bunch of friends. And since it coincides with my birthday, I would like to make it a blast.

But then, what's going to happen after Kenyir. I cannot be doing nothing else after that? Hmmmm.. maybe i can go one of those classical opera concert at Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra.. Not badd.. not bad at all.

April
April is the much awaited month because I AM GOING TO MOROCCO FOR A BACKPACKING TRIP... wuhuuuuuuuu.. 2 weeks away from work, away from any familiarity, in a strange land, not knowing anyone. I am so f*cking excited about this one.

3 friends, shuana, Ros & Asroll, will mark their step in Morocco, searching for new experience, unchartered territory, new friends and benjoy the reathtaking view of the exotic country.. sighhh.... i'm daydreaming already... hehehhe. BUT right now, i need to curb my enthusiasm. Shuana? Take it easy and breath gently through your mouth.

hahaha....

Maybe i should stop until the month of April. It is too soon to plan for the rest of the year anyway. Hmmmm.. should i include a visit to a spa...? But i am not a fan of spa, still i need to pamper my self every now and then.

(to be continued)

Welcoming 2009

I am welcoming 2009 with a new attitude, a new mood, and I hope this new mood or attitude could result to a happy ending this year. (Yes! I still want to get married by December 2009)…

A few days before the New Year, I was feeling down. I was heartbroken. Someone i cared so much went ahead and rammed me flat. I was devastated. God knows i never thought i would ever feel that way after 4 years ago. But then, one fine day, I woke up and realized that I have survived 4 break ups in the past.. I mean, this recent crisis wasn’t even a break up. Things haven’t even started and there I was begging for his mercy? What the hell was I thinking….?? Oh my! That really sad girl a few days ago was not Shuana. Far from being who Shuana is. Seriously, Shuana gets up and moves on. This is not an arrogant statement. I have been through so much in life and I honestly think that the recent one that I had, does not even qualified as a crisis. Nope! It was just a passing. Yup! Just a passing. It was not worth my time being sad over something that could never happened. I do not worry about worries. I have no worries and this guy thought he could actually steal that away from me.. well, I actually let him, at first.. but senses came knocking in my head soon enough to make me realize that I have a life to live, a mission to accomplish, and no time to waste. I strongly believe that God has reason for not letting things worked the way I wanted. God has other plans for me. The guy may not be the one for me but the real one is still out there, looking for me.. and I never doubted that.

Some may think this is a denial. I beg to differ. Denial is something you felt when you lie about the truth. How do you know I am not lying? Again, go read my past entries and you will know who the real Slim Shady is.

I don’t hate anyone. Not my ex boyfriends, not anyone. It is something I do not possess. Although this new guy has hurt my feeling, I do not hate him. Hating is a waste of time. I have stopped hating people realizing that I could not go on with my live if I don’t have the capacity to forgive and forget.

2009 is a new year and I have new resolutions to live for. I will not let what happened towards the end of 2008 affects my 2009. What happened in 2008, stays in 2008. I am not bringing it forward. Account is closed on 31/12/2008.

I will smile and laugh more, have more fun, go out and meet new people and always be nice to everyone, even to my enemy.. hmmm.. if I am nice, the chances are I won’t have any enemies. That’s good, ain’t it? 2009 is going to be a happy year for me and I will make sure of that. I’ll spread the happiness to people around me. Life is too short to regret of the past.

But come June 2009, let’s do some assessment, shall we? J

I love me… love me so much!

Thank you God for Your blessings.. Yup! We still have a date 5 times a day, unless of course, you-know-what won’t let me.

This is me.. Welcome 2009. Enjoy your stay.

untitled

I was clenching my teeth
My hands in fists
My stomach churns
felt like acidic burn
My eyes stung
Teardrop fallen
My ears deafen

Rips my chest
Tears my heart
Slash its part
and i held it out

But nothing hurts
Cause it felt like home
Cause I owe it to me
I owe it to him

Lying down
on the wooden floor
Close my eyes
and drown in my thoughts
Another dream emerges
I smile..
because there lies my life
a field with a big tree
stars and moon the roof
because the sun doesn't shine anymore

Awaken by wall crashes down
hard on my head
But it still does not hurt
It brings comfort
It releases past hurts

It brings me to life
Makes me realize
that what is past
Cannot be brought to last

I haven't lost the battle
I've only survived one